As I was doing the dishes the other night, I had a very jarring realization. My husband’s broken collarbone was not in fact the senseless injury it seemed to be, but actually a brilliant strategic move in our marriage.
Let me back up a bit and explain how I came to this conclusion. I have never been one of those wives that was happy to serve my spouse and meet his every need (do those wives still exist? If so, I know a guy looking to upgrade). From the very early stages of our marriage, I demanded equality. I understood, as all women do, that by demanding equality, you can probably end up with a 70/30 split. Meaning he helps out a bit…Over the years, we have been happily moving along with him doing his share around the house, no complaints. It was just routine.
Not anymore. Now that he broke his collarbone he has been unable to help out. He can’t move his left side and only has the use of one arm so this limits his domestic abilities. For the first few days, I just sucked it up and did EVERYTHING. I didn’t even mind, he was injured, it had to get done, so I did it. As he began to recover slightly, he offered one morning to take the dog for a walk. I was overjoyed, moved almost to the point of tears with gratitude! Yes, please! It would be so fabulous if he could just do that one thing…it would mean one less thing for me to get done before work.
I think you see where I am going. I now have no expectations of his helping out at all. I am taking care of everything, and for the first time in our relationship, I don’t anticipate him doing his share. He is starting over at zero. It is like a giant reset button in our relationship. By simply taking on one or two things from me, I will be so happy and grateful I may forget that he used to do way more. Well, thankfully I am on to him now and will be monitoring his recovery very carefully to ensure that he gets back into his domestic routine as soon as possible. 🙂