The thing about unwelcome house guests…

Everyone loves a long weekend right?  This long weekend, not so much.  Worst long weekend I can remember.  It started off innocuously enough with a fabulous night out at Jersey Boys.  The next day we left bright and early to get my parents from the airport in Vermont.  One hour into the drive we get a call that they are delayed…28 hours later they actually arrive.  Then we hightailed it back to Ottawa to start celebrating our kid-free long weekend, later than planned but really looking forward to a relaxing Canada Day.  I had dreams of drinks on a patio downtown, fireworks, a few laps in the pool…

We go into the house and my husband says “Wow you really left a mess here yesterday.”  I respond, “Actually, I didn’t.  What are you talking about?”  He points out that everything on my kitchen windowsill has been knocked over.  We look a little closer and there is a half peeled and eaten banana on the counter.  Closer still and there are mouse droppings all over the place.  Further investigation shows that whatever is in our house has been all over the kitchen.  It also picked up a yogurt container and brought it into the dining room.  My husband says he will set a trap and I go upstairs to get our stuff unpacked and put away.  While in the bathroom emptying my toiletry bag, I hear a rustle in the bedroom.  I ask my husband what he is doing and he answers from downstairs in the kitchen.  I start shrieking and leap onto the bathroom counter.  He runs upstairs and sees something out of the corner of his eye in our bedroom, not sure exactly what it is but seems bigger than a mouse.  This thing peeled a banana – definitely bigger than a mouse.  I hightail it right out of the house.  He sets up 7 mouse traps as that is all we have and we leave for a few hours, hoping it will get caught in a trap while we are out.

At 12:35am we return to the house.  Husband checks out the traps.  The little $$#@#% has actually snapped a few and eaten out the peanut butter but he of course continues to roam freely through the house.  I tell my husband that there is no freaking way I am sleeping in there tonight, and so we camp out in the car.  No sleep is had, of course.  5:30am I decide it is time to check the traps again.  We go to the front steps and peer through the window and a FREAKING squirrel is peering at us from the top of our stairs.  We spend another 90 minutes trying to get it out of the house but it has taken  off and hidden somewhere upstairs and we can’t find it.  We catch a couple of hours sleep downstairs, holding a hockey stick for protection.  I wake up and go outside to camp out on our front porch.  I bring a book, my phone, a charger for my phone, a large mug of tea and a hoodie.  I am good for at least a few hours.  🙂

At 2pm my fabulous friend/neighbour and husband come by with drinks and hockey sticks and the boys do another big sweep for our unwanted house guest.  Nothing.  He is nowhere to be found.  I am near hysterics at this point and completely exhausted.  Thank goodness for a good chat and some alcohol!  We also borrowed a live trap and put it on our upstairs landing where we last saw the little monster.  My friends leave and I make my husband stand guard in the bathroom while I take a shower and get cleaned up.  I run outside and leave him to fend for himself while he showers.  We go see another movie and come back home hoping to find our trap has successfully caught him.  Nothing.  Sigh.  We camp out downstairs with pillows and blankets and watch some tv.  Hockey stick and golf umbrella are close at hand in case we need to fend anything off.  At 11pm we drift off to sleep, fully prepared to go into attack mode at a moment’s notice.  At 11:58pm we both suddenly shoot upright at the sweetest sound I have ever heard – the loud, decisive “thwack” of the trap door closing.  We both looked at each other for a second, worried that it was only wishful thinking…then we heard the mad rustling of something in the trap.  Just like that the nightmare ends…we drove it about 20 mins away from our house, and let it go in a field.  He is so not welcome for a return visit!  Can I get a redo at the long weekend now?

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